


Handsome Jack Will Remember That

by Caffeinated_Owlbear



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Drabble, Freeform, Handsome Jack - AI, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23476363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffeinated_Owlbear/pseuds/Caffeinated_Owlbear
Summary: When you lie in bed at 2 am and find yourself thinking: I wonder if Handsome Jack has nightmares?And then, against your better judgement, you go ahead and ask him that.
Kudos: 12





	Handsome Jack Will Remember That

Nightmares?

Of course he doesn't have **nightmares** , are you stupid or something?

Anyway, what's a nightmare? When you dream of something scary? Well, pumpkin, the scariest thing Handsome Jack knows is Handsome Jack. Does he have dreams featuring himself? Wouldn't _you_ love to know.

Wait, wait, how'd that joke go? A nightmare is when you wake up screaming and realize you've been awake the whole time? Or was that a nervous breakdown? Wouldn't know, haven't had one of those, either.

Anyway, you ARE stupid. Does Handsome Jack have nightmares, what kinda question is that? Lemme spell it out for you, dumdum. Handsome Jack is a frigging AI. AI's don't sleep. Ergo, they can't have nightmares. With me so far? "Ergo" means "therefore", by the way.

Memories? Yeah, sure, AI's have memories, that's kind of part of the shtick. Handsome Jack the AI is, like, 60% memories, 30% world domination plans, 10% malware that makes your ECHO send dick pics to HR.

...No, idiot, that doesn't mean he remembers 60% of his life. He remembers all of it. Like, everything that happened, recorded, permanently. That's AI for you.

No, those memories don't fade. They're literally part of him. Long as he exists, he will remember it all. Every detail, clear as the day it happened.

What's that got to do with anything?


End file.
